So after my first traumatic and as you can imagine, severely damaging and long experience. I struggled alot.
My saving grace was the fact my Dad was manic depressive and he told my mum everything. Whether it was out of guilt or because maybe he actually felt some feelings of some form I will never know.
This is were I learnt alot about my dad. That he had cheated on my mum many times, seen prostitutes and other men. He blamed it all on the sexual abuse he went through as a child in boarding school (no excuse). My mum had forgiven him again and again but what he had done this time was unforgiveable, she went to the police thankfully. I think and feel for the kids who didn’t have a strong Mother like I did, even if I didn’t see that then I do now.
My brother and I both had to do video evidence for his court case and be medically examined, to which I can say was a very scary time for a child to do.
After all this and after my dad had gone to jail we both went to therapy, in all honesty though I feel like the therapist just wanted to say how we should feel. He had us throwing cushions out the window pretending they were my dad.
I can tell you now it didn’t help and I struggled to fit in when moving to a secondary school, to the point I point blanked refuse to go and would hold the car seat or radiator in my bedroom and refuse to move. I was lost and in pain and had no one to talk to about it.
I ended up going to my mums church (she has always been a christian) to a degree I think it helped I mean I felt like I fit in and could help but then…
To be continued…
Being a Survivor! 